Encounter...

As I nervously sat on the steps of the library, eyes shooting to and fro resting only on men approaching the steps alone, I saw a man - 30 something, around 5'10' with an earring in one ear, looking slightly effeminate or walking so at least, cargo shorts, T shirt and sneakers - he is looking around nervously, sees me looking at him and he approaches me..

"are you - - - maureen?"

PHEW!

He blushes, smiles, walks away and has a seat. I wonder if it is another first nerve encounter...

I start to get really nervous now - looking back and forth, trying to look like i am looking, but relaxed. because you never know when his eyes will rest on you for the first time. Then I see him. I am certain it is him - he looks just like he does in his photos, walking slowly, jeans and maroon shirt, he is a little pale, blue eyes, wearing sexy-dorky glasses. He looks at me then looks away quickly before I can react. I take this as a sign that he does not recognize me. No wonder - he is going off of my profile. Perhaps if I had shown up in a bikini or carrying a guitar he may have had a better time. Anyway, he looks back and I smile. His nod asks 'you?'. I nod yes back. He slowly walks over - my heart is pounding.

HE IS CUTE!!!

Thank god - and I have no idea what to say. neither does he. We sit together, sun hitting us, making both of us sweat as we nervously stumble for words. I am not sure exactly how but we manage to make a plan and we get up to go get sandwiches. The first 20 minutes or so was really awkward - waiting in line at Cosi to-go sandwich joint on a semi-blind lunch date.

The setting was perfect. Bryant Park, beautiful sunny, breezy day, opera going on in background - we sit face to face. For the most part - we were both pretty nervous I think. The result of which is that i say too much, often laughing at my own jokes. he says less and it takes him some time to get it out. I am still amazed at how strange this whole nerve dating this is. Here I am sitting with someone who could be a total prick (unlikely but possible). he could be someone who yells at homeless people! Or tips terribly! he could be someone who judges others actions too much! How do I know? And I am willing to put myself out there - to be in the company of someone I do not even know. Bizarre. I think friendster had one thing right - letting friends leave testimonials. Nerve could be considerably improved if you were allowed to include reference letters written by ex's and friends. Think of how much time we would all save..

We talk about his work, my work, parks, Dukes of Hazard, Memento, Eternal Sunshine, windows, our shared love of all things bread AND getting together when we are both back.

I also caught him shoot a glance at my backside as I walked away. Cha-ching!